Eric Liaw
My love is always sweet like sugar white,
So sweet that others gaze with envious eyes.
For my love is a quite uncommon sight,
A most sought-after and delicious prize.
Who dawned upon this wondrous recipe?
Who was the first to fry a ring of dough?
For I believe all pastry fans agree
To that great genius our thanks we owe.
O doughnut, sweet dessert of child’s desire,
May your besprinkled torus reign supreme!
Your sweet deliciousness we all admire;
Your warm delightfulness we all esteem.
I therefore must inquire if it’s alright
To mar thy perfect beauty with a bite.
11 comments:
Eric-
I really liked your poem. It was very good, especially since you tried to make it sound like Shakespeare. Try to work on lines 8 and 10, they are very good, but don't flow as well with the poem.
-Kathrin
i enjoyed reading your sonnet. I liked how the reader doesn't konw its a doughnut until the end.
Man
Your sonnet was awesome. I loved your word choice and you followed the format very well. I think the originality and creativeness was wonderful because writing about love for a doughnut is no easy task. Great job!
your poem makes me crave for some doughnuts. your poem flowed together really well and i could actually see the doughnut
I really liked the sonnet. the surprise at the end of it was great. nice job
Eric
I also realy enjoyed your poem because you made it in Shakespeare's language but it was humorous. I also liked the twist at the end.
Katherine
dude i love doghnuts the sonnet made me hungry i like the descriptive stuff its cool
haha, Eric, that was awesome! The descriptions of the doughnut are so right on, in a deep and meaningful way, of course. I love the last line. It made me hungry.
eric-
Your sonnet is creative and humorous. I loved your subtle ploy on love with the idea of a donut. The word choice was brilliant. My only concern is the depth of your sonnet, in your analyzation paper be sure to explain how you sonnet conveys the humor in what people can fall in love with etc.
Great job!
Thanks for your fat comment. It actually helped quite a lot. I think you're the first person to notice it's in iambic pentameter, and now that I read it again, yours is too, yeah? I can't believe I spent so much time iambic pentameterizing it, when only you noticed. Ok, not that much time, but whatever. Yeah, your sonnet is still too good for me to suggest any changes right now.
ah, haa, that was a total conicidence that i wrote about a doughnut too. Your poem really is true. I don't know if it's weird, but i feel kinda bad after the first bite of a doughnut. Is your doughnut have sprinkles or frosting? or both? I don't really see anything that needs to be changed, but your poem talks about people liking doughnuts being an uncommon sight, and then you say eveyone likes them. maybe i just don't get that part though.
-Mark
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